A look back at 2015, and some goals for 2016

Looking back over 2015, I am very thankful, that despite some health concerns, nothing major took place. I will be on blood thinners for the rest of my life due to a genetic clotting disorder. But I can't really complain, because I still have the OK to travel, as long as I stop every 2 hours to walk around. Actually, it's sitting at home typing on the computer that probably does more damage - once I start writing, it can be hours before I'm willing to get up and take a break. In 2016, I need to eat better and exercise often (maybe lose a few pounds), and continue to help others.

My biggest accomplishment for 2015 was becoming a co-author in the book Emerge. A program called Transform thru Writing started in March and ended in September. I saw it as a means to an end. I had always wanted to write a book and I saw a FB post from Cassandra Washington (a coach I had met at a convention) looking for co-authors. I thought, why not check it out. The timing was good, because I wasn't that busy with gathering lessons at church or working a business my husband had left for me. And so I joined - and my passion for writing showed up right away and has not left my side. And through the lessons and the coaching calls - I discovered it wasn't going to be my writing that transformed, it was going to be me. And I'm continuing with the program in 2016 because I know there is still more of me to be transformed. I know God's not done with me yet, and there are so many more ways for me to grow (not outwardly, though!) If you haven't bought a copy of the book Emerge: Real Stories of Courage and Truth, I would recommend going to my shop tab of my website and click on the book Emerge - and it will take you directly to Amazon. My chapter, appropriately titled "Finding My Way" after the death of my husband, has been a journey all it's own. And I'm still traveling on that road, but discovering new roads toward greater things. 

So each year I like to have a summary of places I've been to during the year - so feel free to continue to read about my adventures. At the end of April - I took a short road trip to the King of Prussia (that's a city near Philadelphia) for a women's business conference. On the way home I was finally able to buy one of those EZ-Passes for the car. 

Then in May, I bought a new Camry and the very next day drove it to Chicago with a couple of friends to attend a Children's Ministry conference, The Gathering. We had fun traveling, and I was soon teased along the way because I almost ran into one of those toll bars. In PA, the toll booths with EZ-Pass, you just slowly drive through it, but in OH, apparently there's a bar! They even teased me at a RR crossing, "Sue, watch out for the bar!" Gotta love traveling with friends. Two days later, we drove home and then the next day I drove to Buffalo for a business training. Whew! Lots of miles on a new car - and that EZ-Pass? I don't know how I lived without it for so many years.  

In June - I drove down to Knoxville to watch my granddaughters in their dance recital -and left my car with my daughter Amy while my other daughter Sarah and I drove all 6 grand kids up to my house in PA. Amy and her husband drove up later. So for the first time in two years, I had all of my kids together with their significant other and kids and we had a family picture (there were 25 of us) done at a local park - on a bridge by a creek. Before Amy and her family left - we took a side trip up to Niagara Falls with the kids.

In July - I found myself wanting to drive out to Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island, but not able to accomplish it on my own, so I changed directions and drove back down to Knoxville and got a hotel with a mini-water park attached - and had two kids at at time. It was a lot of fun, though I didn't get to see my daughter much. It was August by the time I got home from that trip. So I told the grand kids, they got to spend the summer with me!

In August - I took another trip up to Niagara Falls, but this time on the Canadian side with a friend, who didn't trust my ability to get from point A to point B - at all during the trip. Even when we were walking, "Are you sure you know where we're going?" I can laugh about it now.

In September - I flew down a day early to Dallas for a business annual convention. I was hoping to meet up with a friend I knew in GA, but as it was, she wasn't available. After the first night of activities, I was able to meet up with Cassandra Washington and several other co-authors from the books Emerge and Strengthen Your Wings (first book in series). There were some that were there for the business convention also, while others just lived nearby. It was surely a highlight of mine to spend time with them. We became instant friends.

At the end of September - I flew out to Chicago with another friend for another children's ministry conference: Group's Kid Min Conference. This was another great oppty to reconnect with friends from years' past. This was the 5th conference, and my 4th. Children's ministry is another passion of mine. I'm not as involved as I had been in years past, because I currently am not in a children' pastor position. But I have several friends that still keep up with me - and had been praying for my late husband and for me. 

In October - I decided to drive back down to Knoxville and help my daughter pack up her house. Her husband had accepted another position at a school in Charlotte - so they were going to be sorting out, getting rid of, donating, etc and needed some help. And my motto has always been - when in doubt, throw it out! So I went down. A week before going though, I felt like I might have gotten another blood clot in my leg and had gone to the ER to have an ultrasound done. It was negative, so three days later, I drove the 10 hours to Knoxville - stopping every 2 or so to walk around. The pain in my leg only intensified each time I got out of the car. But I ignored it - I was drinking lots of apple juice for the potassium (thinking i needed more to make the pain diminish). I arrived on a friday night - and on Saturday - we ran errands and I got to watch a couple of dance rehearsals. By Sunday - I was noticing a shortness of breath - espec walking up the stairs (the bedrooms were in the basement). I had talked about it with my daughter and decided to wait and call the Dr on Monday - to see if I could just get a script for my anxiety meds, which I had left at home. Well, Monday morning came - and I was chatting online with a nurse (from home) and she said - go to the hospital now - you have a PE (pulmonary embolism - aka blood clot) - and so when Amy got home - she took me to the ER. I was just going to have her drop me off there -but she stayed the entire day (as I was in the ER for 9 hours - mostly due to the lack of a free bed for staying overnight). So there I was - hearing the news once again that indeed there was a blood clot in my leg and multiple clots in my lungs. I knew something wasn't right - because although I did travel alot - I did take precautions - wearing the compression socks and taking breaks. I spent three days in the hospital in Knoxville and can say I wasn't much help afterall - with Amy packing - but we did get in a few conversations here and there, so that was good. No one wanted me to drive home myself (actually, I was a bit concerned as well) - so my sister and her husband drove down on the Sunday and spent the night, and then she drove me home in my car and Doug was in his, We stopped every two hours to walk around. I would walk until the pain was unbearable - could have been more clots - but never found out. It was good to be home finally - and I've been home ever since. Probably  my longest stay at home!

But I have a love for traveling - so I'm sure there will be some done in 2016. With two daughters getting new houses - surely, they need me to come visit them, if only to watch them carry boxes into the houses. 

I'm working on my goals for 2016 - some for personal, travel, health/fitness, business, financial, other. It's good to have a starting block - and then you pick the pace - everyone has 365 days and 24 hours - the same amount of time. Just want to make a difference for others - and be whom God wants me to be. 

And so my story continues...

And the greatest of these is love

Every time I open up my webpage, I see the old red barn sitting there with the lovely yellow forsythia bushes in bloom. That old barn fell down a few years ago, so it's always a pleasant memory to see it on my page.

Things come and go all the time. That's the way life is - the sun rises and the sun sets and as it says in Ecclesiastes, "everything is meaningless under the sun." Everything - school, dinner time, Sunday football games, the World Series, a lightning bug. Everything is meaningless under the sun.

Then why do we care so much about things. Are you putting our efforts into things that don't matter? Probably yes, but maybe not so much. It's all about your opinion in what you believe.

I believe that God created us to honor Him - to give Him the glory for everything we do - so if that's at school or sitting around the dinner table, or even watching the sports on TV - whatever we are doing during those times, it should be for His honor and glory.

God also created us to love Him with all our hearts, mind and soul - and to love our neighbor as ourselves. That's not such an easy task, but it's doable. These are His two most important commandments in the Bible. If we are doing only these two things, think of how much better our world would be.

Just love others. Show love to others. Share love with others. Be in love with others. This is the best four letter word I know - LOVE!

Reading from I Corinthians 13:1-13 (Jesus Centered Bible) Heading: Love is the Greatest

'If I could speak all the languages of earth and and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing.If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about in justice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through ever circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. but when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.'

Seasons

And on the seventh day, God rested. Whew - He was one busy man. He created everything just for us - His children.

I've been living in my current place for almost 18 months now, and therefore, have witnessed all of the seasons. I moved in during Spring, the leaves were just starting to unfold on their branches. The daffodils were blooming, as the birds were flying about from their nests to the trees, just waiting for their little ones to hatch. There was a nest above my porch light. The momma robin would scream at me every time I went in and out of my front door. She would fly out of her nest and flutter about five feet away, just waiting for me to get out of her way, so she could return to her eggs, to protect them.

But as much as I wanted to help her protect her little ones, the mess she created on my sidewalk and around the porch light was not so nice, as if someone had gotten hold of a can of white spray paint. It became a nuisance for any visitors. The alternative was to have everyone walk through my garage and come in through the laundry room. Not very pleasant either.

One day I decided to invite my new neighbors over to a Tupperware party. To prepare, I spent some time cleaning up the front entrance which also meant that I decided to move the nest to a tree in a wooded area. I cleaned up the light and the side of the house, and scrubbed the sidewalk. I was all ready for the guests to come. I had allowed the Tupperware lady to enter through the garage, so because I had left my garage door up, everyone came in through the laundry room. All that work, and they didn't even come in the front door. Thankfully, I did lead them out that way after the party. And after a few days, the robin was able to locate her nest. She wasn't too happy with me, understandably, as I was trying to make a good impression with my new neighbors and didn't want the robin to startle them away.

Summer came and went, and soon the leaves were changing colors and falling down to cover the grass. I have been blessed to be able to live in a development which provides some maintenance, so as lawn mowing, leaf raking and blowing, and even snow plowing. I love sitting in a chair in my bedroom and looking out the window at the nature God had created. Not a day goes by that I don't see a squirrel, usually being chased by a chipmunk - around the trees and through the grass, and sometimes along the garden border (which is like a wooden rail). It's amazing to watch the squirrels jump from tree to tree and even on the skinniest of branches. You wonder if they're even going to hold them - you expect the to fall - but then off they go - onto another one. Such entertainment God provided that doesn't have to be plugged into any circuits. Gotta love what He has done for us. I was able to witness a fawn this year, outside my window, less than 20 ft from my house. I've seen turkeys around the neighborhood, and some have reported seeing bears, also. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised to see the wild animals at our homes, since we took away their homes to make ours. But God is good - and still provides for all of us.

Even in the winter time, which is the least favorite around here, yet everyone is still here. I always comment to others when I hear them complain - "then why are you still living here?" I like the snow, I just don't love driving in it. When we get a good snow - good packing snow, I'm waiting to go out and play in it. Last year the snow just wasn't packable - til it started to melt. But even though it was, it didn't roll. So there I was with my shovel, out in the yard - lifting up wet snow - about 12 inches thick and making the biggest pile of snow I could handle. And then I carved out a snowman. It was funny looking, but it was cute. And of course, I put it in view of my bedroom window.

To love all the seasons, including the coldest one, is why I love living here in Meadville, PA. You get them all, though maybe not as much summer as we would like. Winter tends to come early and leave late. But there are so many beautiful things the snow can make - like the first snowfall on all of the branches - with the sun light glittering through the snowflakes. When you think about each snow flake - all originals. Amazing. Even an occasional ice storm can capture a photo worth taking. There is beauty in everything God created - even thunderstorms, which are not my favorite. But I've seen some amazing displays of lightning - almost more thrilling than a fireworks show. And the clouds that form tornadoes - photos of wall clouds, funnels, even the eye of a tornado or a hurricane - breathtaking. (Thankfully, I haven't experience a tornado yet.)

My favorite season is Spring - when the buds start popping out - from branches or stems. The first crocuses around the dogwood trees. Even a spring snow is nice. And when the weather warms up - the showers and walking through puddles. Yes, you're never too old to do that.

God created all of this beauty and more for us to enjoy everyday. You wonder though, how many people just pass it by without a thought or a wonder. People who live next to the Rocky Mountains but have never traveled into them; or those who live within driving distance to the ocean but miss opportunities to watch the tides roll in and out. Nature is all around us - even those who live in the bigger cities spot an occasional deer running into a toy store or a flock of geese flying south for the winter. Don't let the days pass you by without noticing what God has provided - use your senses to grasp the full meaning of life - the smells, the sounds, the sights, even the touches. It's all there for us - because He loves us.

Deck the halls already?

Less than five minutes after I started, my Christmas tree was up and lighted. Three pieces, three plugs, and a few branches to fold down and it was done. The weather outside wasn't frightful, no roaring fire to be delightful, and surely, there were places I could go - before just letting it snow! That was it - there was snow in the forecast. Snow at this time of year means the Christmas is right around the corner. But after glancing at the calendar, I saw it was only Nov 20; and Thanksgiving was next in line with only six days away. No, we don't want any snow on the roads then - too many travel that weekend.

Nope the snow's not here yet - though it was a little cooler today - in the mid 40's. Last week they were calling for 6-8 inches for over night on Saturday into Sunday - but because of the wind and the front - it's going to go north - northeast of us - and some of the skiing venues will get some snow to pack down for their season. I live near Lake Erie - and when the lake is not frozen over, we get the lake-effect snows and sometimes that can mean 10-12 inches in a matter of a few hours. So we have missed this snow machine - well, at least I have!

Anyway, when I had a big yard sale in 2013, I sold three Christmas trees for @$10 each. What was I thinking? One of them was over seven feet tall and was loaded with white lights. It was heavy, but beautiful. My plan was to sell the house and move into a condo - one just the right size for a table top tree. Well - Christmas came, and I had to let Wal-mart rescue me. I went out and brought home a six foot tree with colored lights. It appeared small in my great room with the vaulted ceiling. As it was, I didn't move until the next spring. And this time, I took the tree with me.

But when I was younger, it was a tradition to bundle up with hats, gloves and boots, and drive out to the local tree farm. With a bow saw in Dad's hand, we would race through the trees - studying each one: too tall, too short, not enough branches, too wide, until we could all agree on just the right one. One year, my dad cut the trunk about six feet up - just to get the best part of the tree - that is, the part that would fit in the house. Mom wasn't into cutting holes in the ceiling just for a seasonal Christmas tree. Dad would let us take turns at the saw, but as a child, I just wasn't strong enough to spend much time helping. When it was down we all grabbed part of the trunk - I probably held up the top, and carried it out to the car. Dad would pay the owner and then we would tie it to the top of the station wagon, and pray it was still on there when we got home. Sometimes, Mom would stay behind, and have some hot cocoa waiting for us to warm our hands on the mugs.

I think the tree had to stay outside for a day, perhaps. I remember as an adult holding up the tree and bouncing it on the ground for all of the loose needles to fall out, and maybe snow, if indeed there was some that year.

But Dad never bought a tree before Thanksgiving. It was always on the weekend (or Sunday) before Christmas. I heard him tell the story of a time when he went out to buy a tree on Christmas Eve, and then went back the day after Christmas to pay for it.

It was also a family tradition to decorate the tree together - and reminisce about particular ornaments that were made by us kids through the years, or ones that a relative would give us. Some years we would put strings of popcorn around the tree. I think we tried cranberries one time, but only remember them falling apart as soon as the needle passed through it. And the top of the tree would be an angel or a homemade star made out of cardboard and some aluminum foil.

Every year we set the tree on a train board. My brother would add tracks that would take the train under some of the living room chairs too. We would take turns setting up all of the accessories - miniatures villages, people, etc. Almost every year, the train would successfully go around the tree, until we added a cat to our family. Shadow would sit and swat at the train. I'm sure he tried to pounce on it once or twice. Sometimes my brother would tease the cat - making the train go forward and backward - waiting to see the cat's reaction. Thankfully, our dog, Duffy, wasn't bothered by the train.

And so - these are some stories from my childhood - decking the halls. So blessed to have them in my head (and now in this blog).

More years of Christmas traditions with my own kids yet to come ... until then.

What to do without cable?

I think this is the first time since they invented cable, that I have chosen not to have it. Originally, I called about just deleting the home home since I never answered it when it rang (it was never for me because I didn't give out the number to anyone). But it was only going to change my bill by $4.05. So I inquired about cutting cable, because watching one show turned into watching another and another and I wasn't getting any else done. The computer is in my bedroom with no TV (access was available but I gave the TV to one of my kids) and the main TV was in the living room. So I couldn't mulit-task. And I knew that I really needed to be with the computer - to pay bills, to catch up with friends on FB, to watch training videos for my pt business, to write blogs, and write chapters for the book that sits in a file.

So here I am, cable-less. And of course, the timing is never right. Two of my favorite series will be showing a new season soon - When Calls the Heart and Downton Abbey. And then there's the occasional football game and all the Christmas movies on Hallmark. By the time I decide to add it back, some of those shows will be having reruns. Of course I'm aware of other ways to view shows, such as on Netflix and online. But I'm no worse for wear for not watching them at all.

Actually, I'm excited to have one less distraction in the house. I need to focus on more important tasks at hand. I have several books on my kindle just waiting for me to swipe a page or two. And they there are the books on my shelves that are only collecting dust bunnies. This is a good opportunity to keep reading and learning. It's never wrong to improve on yourself, and we're never too old to learn.

Mostly, I need to focus on writing. I joined the NaNoWriMo which is National Novel (not November) Writing Month and I have yet to start, except about 300 words I wrote earlier. But then there was a distraction and I walked away. I need to set a timer and write until it rings. There are so many words in my head just waiting to appear on paper or on the desktop. I need to remember how to do the SOC writing, that is, Streams of Consciousness. That's when you write and write and write whatever you are thinking and you don't stop to correct the spelling or the punctuation. Because it doesn't matter. What matters is that the words are written down - your thoughts are exposed, yes. That could be a good thing. You are transformed - you are a new person. Just like writing in the book program that produced the book, Emerge. I wrote page after page - not only because it was an assignment, but because it felt so natural to do. I need to get back to that kind of writing. Just let it go - no, I'm not going to start singing!

A picture is worth a thousand words - imagine how many pictures you get out of a story? Maybe not a thousand, but surely more than one if it's written with passion and clarity. I did set a goal to write a book this winter, so without cable, I have one less excuse to keep me from pursuing it. It's time to set some goals and then go after them. Always looking forward to the next adventure. Until then...

Making time to write

Wasn't it just summer? Where are the seasons going? We're in the middle of fall and it snowed in my neck of the woods over the weekend. I even had my first snowball fight with two little kids - it was a playful fight. I wanted to build a snowman but with no gloves on, my hands were already frozen. I had to use my sleeve to push the snow off of my car. When I arrived at home, I found the snow brush and put it into the car (and hopefully it will act like an umbrella and keep any more snow away until December!)

Here we are past the middle of October, which means it won't be long now until I pack my suitcase for a trip down to Tennessee to visit my daughter(s) (hope it's both of them) and my grandkids. I haven't seen them since August. But we recently skyped, and that's almost as good as being there. I'll be helping Amy with fall cleaning. "When in doubt, throw it out" is my motto. Though I also have granddaughters in this area who might get some hand-me downs. It will be a fun time - looking forward to at least one meal out (since I don't do that very often here.)

After I get home, I'll be involved in a writing group called NaNoWriMo, which stands for National November Writing Month. It's designed for anyone who loves to write to spend time doing what they love. They have a set goal of 50,000 words - that's @1667 a day. I actually think it's doable - though I know there will be some days dedicated to other things, so maybe it will be harder than I think. But even if I don't reach the goal, I'm better off for giving it a try. I'll be working on my first book, called Around Robin Hood's Barn. (You will recognize it as the title of my website, and similar to the blog).

I was recently asked to write a blog for the One Degree Shift group, which also supports the writing program that produced the book Emerge. I wrote about the ministry I formed as I was finishing up the chapter. Starting in March, I'll be writing in the third book program which will produce the book, Soar. Any time to write is fine with me and what I love to do. Since the more you do something, the better you become at it; and the more you read, the more words you put in your head, then reading makes you a better writer. I have to make sure I schedule time to do both of these things, since I'm not completely dedicated to doing at the moment, but soon. It's a mindshift - it's redefining what's important to me to and making sure I follow through with those activities.

With the help of the Transform Thru Writing book program, I am starting to gain back my confidence and belief in myself. (that which I lost when my husband died two years ago). Timing is everything. Becoming a co-author has been a dream come true. As long as I am moving in the forward direction, all is good. And so my story continues...

Discoveries

Life is a mystery - the minute you figure something out, another puzzle is put in front of you. I don't know why I'm always surprised to find myself going through life's mazes of twists and turns, dead ends and switchbacks. But here I am - among the storms of life.

It's not even a big storm. That would have been the time when our house burned down or when my husband was diagnosed with an incurable cancer (and died). No, the storms now are just light showers, maybe even sprinkles. Just enough to make a puddle to stand in and know your dependence needs to remain on God - for everything. Don't ever hold anything back from Him - He knows about those secrets - you can't hide from Him. And always know that God loves you no matter what's going on in your life. He just wants you to love Him in return and give Him the honor and glory for your life.

I do love my God, my Savior, my Lord. There have been times in my life when I've tried to hide or sneak away from Him (not sure why I thought I could even do that. lol), only to be uncovered by others speaking His words to me. God never left me, even when I thought I was leaving Him behind. In the song - O no, you never let go of me...so true, for it was me who let go of God. And why do I do that? Why is it that I don't want to always share myself with Him? Yes, it's sin. Sin separates us from God. We can't have them both at the same time. We have to love God more.

So for now, wherever I go, I am taking God with me on this life journey. Over mountains during great times, happy moments, etc; and through the valleys - when times are tough and discouraging; I need to remember that He is my strength, my comforter, my peace. No matter what comes my way, I need to remember that He is there holding me through it all because God loves us unconditionally.