It's easier said than done

I think that's my motto - It's easier said than done. To make yourself do something takes effort, especially if it's something you're not passionate about. For me, it's easy to sit down and start writing - it doesn't matter where the writing takes me, as long as I'm not writing in circles.

Have you ever driven in one of those round-a-bouts? Wow - if you get in the left lane, you could drive in circles and never get anywhere. You have to make a move to the right to get going. But if you're in the right lane on a 4-lane highway and you never pass anyone, you're not going to get to where you want to go very fast. And it's not always safer to drive in the right lane. Move to the left and keep going. It's not about staying on the left side or staying on the right side. You have to keep switching things up. You can't stay the same or keep doing the same thing, because if you do, you're still going to get the same results (I've heard that in the business world). You have to keep moving - even if it's just one step at a time, like getting out of bed everyday. Do one more thing every day until you've accomplished your goal. Then start over on the next goal.

So how do you decide which is the next goal? They say busy people get things done. But I have kept somewhat busy over the last two years with little accomplishment. I could blame that on the grief, and maybe that's acceptable; but I have to take some credit for the decisions I've made along the way. I know the first year and a half, I took a lot of trips - most were to visit the grandkids. These trips were really a way to escape the reality from what I needed to do. (work and make money).

I spent the last 32 years being a stay at home mom, only working PT here and there - to make some extra money - for extra activities. I was never responsible of being the sole provider - even between my two marriages, my parents helped out, along with child support. But I don't want to wait around either for a 3rd husband to pay my way. It's my turn to step up and shake off the anxiety of working, and just do it. I can say, I'm a whole lot closer to succeeding now than I was just a few months ago. The writing has helped break down some of those limitations, aka walls, that were built over the years. And I actually want to work now - compared to just having to work. It's definitely a mindset.

So what I need to do is decide on which goal to go after. I have several irons in the fire - Ambit Energy, Creative Memories, writing, Title Searching, and volunteering with children's ministry. I've been doing most of these things (except Title searching) for the last six months, with little progress - except writing the chapter for the book -which is already submitted). It's time to mix things up and work strong at one thing and make it work. I believe it's going to be the Title Searching - I just have to finish an online course - sort of a refresher course for me, and then take the steps to go to the courthouse and practice on a few family properties - and then introduce myself to the local lawyers. Yes, it's easier said than done. I started the course over a week ago, but then put it on hold to finish the chapter, but also volunteer for VBS. Both of those are done now. No more excuses, except for a meeting here and a lunch date there. One of these days, I will have a whole week available just for doing the Title Searching. I've got to give it a try - it could at least pay my car payment and health insurance, and maybe a few other things. That would be less money to take out of my savings - which is good.

I'm surely not writing this for people to feel sorry for me - I don't blame anyone but myself for where I am. I don't even blame God - He has been my strength through all of this. Sometimes I'm amazed that I've made it this far already. It will be two years in two weeks that Barry went to heaven. I need to be praising God that I'm still here - still moving forward - still wanting to learn more - still needing to honor Him in everything I do. I don't know how people make it through life without God by their side? Some do, they just don't do it well. I think I'm doing pretty good, considering. And I have a strong support team - in family and friends to lean on as I keep moving forward. I am fortunate, for sure.

So - tomorrow is already filled up with stuff to do out of the house - (unless it rains tomorrow night, then golf will be canceled and I can stay home and work on that course). Tues - I can work around a car maintenance appt, and Wed - I can work around a lunch date - then I have all day on Thurs and Fri to finish up this course - and maybe I can even get to the courthouse on one of those days to practice doing a title search. I'm excited, yet a bit nervous. Kind of afraid of messing up or looking stupid. But that's just part of life. I am going to mess up sometime and perhaps, I might even appear stupid - but I'm not because I am getting my life back now - and I need to do whatever it takes to get it done - I need to change that statement around to something like - "getting it done is easy, said I."

I just have to stay positive and not let anything else stop me from proceeding forward - no roadblocks allowed this week! Or next week. It's time to set my course - and go.

Thanks for the continued prayers - I really do appreciate them. (PS, and I'm going to keep blogging.)