Touring around Charlotte

I never imagined I would have a job as a tour guide in Charlotte. It's quite fun. Not only do you get to meet people from all over the world, but you have the ability to learn something from them, as well.

Sometimes I wish I had a globe where I could mark off the countries that have been represented on my golf cart. Of course, many of the states would be checked off in North America, along with countries in Europe, Asia, South America and Africa. Oh, and don't forget Australia. 

It's exciting to join in the conversation. My parents were world travelers so that helps me bridge the gap between places I only know about and places I've personally seen.

I suppose people in Australia live the furthest from me. But perhaps I'd have to Google it. I've met people from Luxembourg, Germany, Austria, France, England, Scotland, Ireland, Ghana, India, Turkey, Peru, Argentina, the islands in the Caribbean, and countries in Canada. And more.

I found out that Peru is where the potatoes started and they have 10,000 varieties. Crazy. Unfortunately, I didn't write many facts down. 


So today was busy, yet I only had two tours with people. I took a family across town for $5, and then gave two ladies that work at the visitor center in the Convention Center a short tour, so they could continue to recommend our business to others.

With only three carts, it does get frustrating sometimes because not everyone has the oppty to drive. I'm glad I'm the #2 driver, so I pretty much get the 2nd choices. If I were 4th or 5th, it might be awhile til something pops up. 

There are times when I feel like it's best to share the times I get with other people, but I have to remember, this is my full time job. I need to make a min of $700/wk and that doesn't always happen. So far, I've been able to pay the bills on my own. I have some money set aside for a possible bankruptcy filing - long story - another time, perhaps. But other than that - what I have is what I'm currently making.

It's definitely a happy ending so far. This is the first time in my life that I've had to support anyone, let alone myself. When I had my parents inheritance, I never worried about the money. I knew it would be there. Now - it's gone and so its only me. I am proud of my self and hope to continue to do this. It definitely takes discipline.

Someday, when i can get my credit cards paid off, I'll have $300 more a month to pay off my car. Then I'll be saving another $300+. That's the goal - to be debt free (again) and then be able to help other organizations better - like my church. 

Being an adult is good. Of course, in many ways, I'm still a child. And it doesn't bother me anymore. I do what I can do and I have fun. Life is fun.

Train up a child

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

This verse, along with Ephesians 6:1 (Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right), are probably the most well known verses in the Bible when it comes to raising children. 

But what does Proverbs 22:6 mean? I've heard several messages over the years and I always lean back to this meaning: when your children are young, teach them about God. Show them the way to have peace in their lives. Teach them about forgiveness; both asking and receiving it. Sing songs of praise with them, so they would always have a glimpse of joy in their minds. Read to them and then listen, while they read back to you. Pray with them and allow them to talk to God with their own words (not just reciting the Lord's Prayer as found in Matthew 6:9-13). Worship with them in 'big' church. Teach them about the importance of communion and baptism. Play with them - show them how to live with the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and (especially) self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23). Children are sponges - from birth to Kindergarten. These are the years we should be concentrating on - to build their foundation in the Lord.

With such a foundation, the child will be wearing the Armor of God, without even realizing it. Though, there may be a time, when they do and decide (which is ok - God gives us the ability to choose) to take it off. Thankfully, parents have already begun praying for this possible scenario; and now have asked other prayer warriors to join in. Teenagers and young adults may walk away from the church during this season of their lives. They may try worldly things. But I believe, that they will turn back to God, because they have that foundation in Him, that was built strong through the early years - it will sustain them and they will return. It might not be til they are married or until they have children of their own, and they remember the love they found with their family, and with their church family.

So train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Others say, the training doesn't happen until after high school graduation; or when they are married with children. Although I myself didn't accept Christ as my Lord and Savior til I was 19, I would have loved growing up in a Christian home, similar to what my kids had experienced. And although my choices aren't always leaning toward God, I know that He will always love me no matter what; and I will, in return, love Him back.

So what would you say this verse means?

Knowing My Purpose

I'm excited to share my purpose with you. It was only last week that I "discovered" it, that is, actually even thought about it and then wrote it down. I'm in a program called Soar 2 Success with Cassandra Washington and her One Degree Shift group. I'm already starting to take off just by knowing my purpose and what to do with it. So here it goes - my purpose is the share my imagination with others. How do I do that, you ask? Well, obviously a big part of it is in story telling or writing.

Last spring I was in a writing program and learned about stream of consciousness writing. And if you're ever read some of my blogs, you know that I can write until the cows come home, and then some. I was born to write, so I could share my dreams, adventures, experiences, struggles and successes with others. My current dream (that is, what I am going to accomplish this year - 2016) is to write a book called Around Robin Hood's Barn: a collection of my childhood stories. I'm including a few interesting ones like what I had to do to be initiated into a fort (club in the woods); and when a friend and I found a six pack of beer in the lake. My goal is not to put you to sleep at any time while reading. Well, unless you're reading while putting your own children to bed, then they're allowed to sleep. But if I hear that you were even yawning while reading, I'm going to come over to your house and take back my book. haha. Just kidding, of course. Though that might be another adventure to go on - visit all of my reader's homes and discover what their dreams are.

Last summer, as I was finishing a chapter for the book Emerge: Real Stories of Courage and Truth; I was somewhat depressed because it was at the same time as the anniversary of my late husband's death. Special dates are always hard to get through. Anyway - I was praying and asking God what it was that I was supposed to get out of all of it? I mean, besides writing, which really has been the best thing for me to restart. I thought - if I could just help one person with their own grief, then going through this experience was worth it. So with my imagination, which comes from my heart, I created comfort bags. Bags with items that would hopefully provide some comfort to widows - for this journey is like none other and only those who are on it can empathize with you. Items may vary as supplies are available, but currently the bag includes a journal (for writing letters to your loved one), a book (prayers), a nice handkerchief (because tissues run out), a stuffed animal (something to cuddle) and a CD (with soothing hymns). I have been giving them away to people I know, but I also have some available for purchase on my website suecorbran.com It's something you give the widow in lieu of flowers, because we know that flowers will soon fade and die, but the grief will go on.

This past weekend, I was hoping to see a woman who I had met a few weeks ago. She wore a shirt that stated that her best friend/husband was in heaven, so I struck up a conversation with her after the service. Sure enough, her husband had passed away not too long ago, but she was still coming to church to worship, for some peace and comfort. I told her about my bags and how I wanted to give her one. Well, the next week, I was distracted and forgot to grab it out of my car, and then last night, she wasn't there. So I still have one for her. In the meantime, I noticed another woman who recently buried her daughter. It was a sudden death and she didn't have time to say I love you, and really didn't know if she had Jesus in her heart. I was holding a comfort bag in my hand, so I walked up to her and told her how sorry I was for her loss and gave her a big hug. And then I presented the comfort bag to her. Explained that I usually just give them to widows, but I thought she would also benefit from it. She cried and we talked and she hugged me again.  I was glad to be able to help her. Well, I went to church again this morning and saw her after the service. She reached out for another hug and started talking about all of the items and what they meant to her and how thankful she was that I thought about her, and it just touched my heart. It was truly a God thing. He orchestrated all of this - and put it upon my heart where my imagination lives - and the bags were created. There have been over a dozen women who have already received a bag, and I still know three others whom I want to give one to. This is a ministry for sure. This is a way I can be of service to the God I love more than anything. Not just because he has my Barry up in heaven with Him, but because He has given me so much strength, comfort and peace through my own grief journey. I have truly been blessed.

Getting Your House in Order

This title could have several different meanings. First of all, I am getting my house in order because it's for sale now and I am dwindling down on the contents of it, so I don't have to take it all with me when I move. This is something I would suggest everyone to do every year - or at least every five years. Are you amazed at how much stuff you have in your house? I am. I shouldn't even be surprised because I shop at Walmart and Kmart and usually bring home more things than are on my list. I guess I need to learn to be more frugal.

What about the Blizzard of 2016? My son in law, who lives in Charlotte was standing in a line that wrapped around the inside of a grocery store - just waiting to check out. Yes - people go crazy when they hear there's a storm approaching. It could be a hurricane - long lines have been seen at Home Depot buying up cases of water and boards for their windows.

So perhaps we're all a bit unprepared for the things life throws at us.

This blog is about death - that is "getting your house in order" aka getting all your affairs straightened out before it's time for you to go, die. Or before your spouse dies.

Now death is inevitable, yet no one knows the time or day of their departure, even if they're only given 6 months to live. It could only be 6 days. So what are some things you can do to be prepared, even if neither you nor your spouse (or significant other) is sick.

There are professionals who can help you prepare your wills, and will prefer you have a living will - that is, what is expected if your heart stops beating - should they resuscitate you? Do you have to have feeding tubes? Do you want to be kept alive by machines only? These are questions that need to be answered when you become an adult. And you can change your mind throughout your life, as long as you keep it documented - and keep the originals in a safe (and tell someone where the key is, or the combination). A will will protect your children from being put into social services - so make sure you have allocated someone else to care for them in your absence.

You can also talk to a funeral director and pre-pay for services. You can have a general idea of a style of casket and vault (though I tend to think they may change over the years) - or you could just put down a certain amount of money to help cover the cost. So your loved ones don't have to worry about this.

In Jan 2012, my husband received the news that he had an incurable cancer. The time frame given was only that in 6 months, 50% were still living. He wanted to be part of that %. So he said, we need to take care of the final things first, so that he didn't have to worry about me after he died. So we set up a time to talk with the funeral director - though we did not prepay anything there; we did purchase a plot at the cemetery we our bodies would have their final resting place. We spoke to our church and the pastors and talked about the type of funeral service my husband would want to have - and we called it a celebration service. We talked about how the service would go - we would have the burial service first thing in the morning with family and close friends, and then we would go to the church for coffee and cookies and then wait an hour and have the celebration service at 11am, followed by a luncheon. Over a hundred people stayed for the lunch. Sometimes I think when you have the burial between the service and the luncheon, then you don't always get your friends to come back for the luncheon (and then you have a ton of food leftover).

So be prepared - and then enjoy your life. Some of the other things he did ahead of time included canceling credit card accounts - things that were in his name only. And he moved all of his money into the joint account. One of the things that worked in our favor was that we were planning a yard sale and he was able to help price the items to sell - all of his contractor tools, etc. Unfortunately, he died the week before the sale - but with family and friends around, we had a successful sale for sure. It kept me busy - too busy to really grasp the grief - which did finally hit me after everyone went home.

And a few things I wish we had taken care of together was - what were all these keys for? At first I had to search through his things to find the keys to our fairly new home to give to the realtor, and then suddenly, I had tons of keys. I knew some of them belonged to our rental property and our flip house, but we definitely had plenty of extras. I'm just now - looking at them again and deciding what to do with them? I'm thinking there must be a craft person out there somewhere who would love a bag for of keys. If that's you, let me know.

Also, if you're online - and your spouse has accounts such as email, FB, etc. Make sure you have the logins and password info for them - so you can close them out properly. This goes with any bank or other financial institution. The more you write down ahead of time (and keep locked in your safe), the smoother the transition will be when the time comes for you to deal with all of this. It's definitely an adventure. But if you start when you're 18, keep good records in a safe box (fire proof and water proof), then as your life changes, such as you get married - make the necessary changes and put them back in the safe. Always stay on top of your game.

I hope this was some useful information to you - feel free to share with others. Or add comments with your own suggestions. Thanks - God bless you!

Trust in God -my life in a nutshell

This has got to be my year. I'm due, as they say. Of course, I've got to help make it happen. I've been through so many changes throughout my life and the most recent ones will happen sometime this spring - when I move into a smaller place. The crazy part of it is - that I'm not even sure where that's going to be yet. Do I stay in my hometown or move somewhere else? It depends on what kind of job I decide to take. Yes - another change - working! It's not that I've never worked - it's just that I haven't always received payment for the work I've done. I know, it's called being a volunteer. But it's still work.

One of my favorite verses is Proverbs 3:5,6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.

I've been trusting God for a long time. On the way to a ski resort, I was in a car accident when I was 17 years old. A delivery truck hit my car on the driver side and pushed it into a bank. My boyfriend and I had to climb out of the passenger side window. The car was totaled. The insurance man told my dad that if that truck was fully loaded and had hit me head on, I would have died. Even though I was raised in the church, that was my first thought that I was here for a reason and it wasn't my time yet to go to heaven.

With my trust in God came trust in other people, other believers. When I was almost 19, I was a victim of a date rape; yet my sorority sisters didn't agree and tried to set me up with another boy to have sex, but I refused. A few months later, I was working at a church camp and thought I might have gotten pregnant from that rape. A young man I met at camp told me that if I was, he would marry me, so that the child wouldn't grow up without a dad. (He had been adopted as a baby). Thankfully, I wasn't pregnant, but I did end up marrying that young man - he was the one to share Christ with me - and taught me about forgiveness. I accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior that summer and then two years later, a month before our wedding, we were both baptized.

And how's that song go - first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby... five days before I graduated from college I delivered our first daughter. I was certainly blessed that day. I didn't realize I'd be gone most of the afternoon and hadn't left a bottle for my mom to feed her. Thankfully, she slept most of the time and otherwise, didn't cry or fuss much. After her first birthday, we packed up the house and moved from OH to GA, because of my husband's work. It took at least a year to adjust to the new surroundings and of course, the southern accent. You put groceries in a buggy, not a cart. You lunch is in a sack not a bag. And they had no idea what sneakers were. Strange. haha.

My husband wanted me to help with the income and so I decided to deliver newspapers from my car and just toss them out of the window. It sounded like fun until I found out you had to arrive at 3:30am just to put the papers into the plastic bags first. Hmm - no, that's not the job for me. I'm not a morning person. Eventually, I decided to work in a daycare. I had a BA in Elementary Ed, so I might have been over qualified, but I could take my daughter with me so that was good. I hadn't been there a week, and I walked past her room and she was just wandering around the cribs and no one was paying any attention to her. I felt sad and decided she needed to be with me during the day. And as it turned out, I was pregnant again, and with morning sickness, so I couldn't work anyway.

A few months after our son was born, a couple from our church (who owned our rental house) had an insurance business just up the street from us and asked if I would consider helping out, especially when they were out of town, and even said I could bring the kids with me - they provided the playpen. So for two days a week and sometimes longer when they were gone, the kids and I spent our mornings there. I felt bad at first, because for the first 20 minutes, I ended up feeding a bottle to my son - and then sometimes he would cry when they were on the phone. It was a little crazy at times. After several months, they finally called me into their office and said, I could stay, but I needed to find someone else to watch the kids. I understood. But God provided those opportunities for me to learn and grow. And had this couple not been Christians, I might have been fired also.

From that job, I became a demonstrator for Christmas Around the World. I did parties in the evenings and on weekends when their dad was home to watch them. And somewhere along the way, I also worked for a flower shop. I loved this job because it was delivering flowers and balloon bouquets all around Atlanta - and I could be gone for hours. It definitely helped me find alternate routes - when there was an accident on the interstate. I'm sure I shared on another blog how they sent me to an adult night club with a dozen roses for a John there. I was so embarrassed, and they just laughed about it back at the shop.

My husband was getting excited about our son turning five and starting Kindergarten. His dream for me was to go to work full-time. I had always enjoyed the flexibility of working part-time and being at home when my daughter was sick. I wasn't looking forward to that transition. And I'd like to say that God provided me for a reason to stay home for another five years or so - I was pregnant with our third child. (Back then, we didn't know the sex of the baby until its' birth). So I was blessed to be able to stay at home even longer. My husband took on a second job delivering pizzas to help make some extra money. After our daughter was born, I continued with part time work - substitute teaching and working in a restaurant.

My husband and I were married for 14 years. And God was with us through it all. We each had our own ideas and dreams - and actually, I think we just never communicated them to each other. And although we attended and were active in church every week, we didn't spend time in prayer or Bible study together at home. Our marriage ended when our youngest daughter was six years old. We were both to blame for the divorce (I couldn't say that then - but I accept my part in it now). And I finally got a full-time job that next fall. I worked as a Pre-Kindergarten teacher at a daycare. And the following summer, I moved the kids and I to PA, leaving their dad and his new wife in GA.

Changes - transitions, whatever you want to call them. We all have them. We all go through them. My kids weren't crazy about starting a new school, especially one that was still open when it was snowing. But they adjusted and made new friends. We got involved in another church - for youth groups, etc. I always wanted to have them stay in church, and never walk away from God. And we had the emotional, as well as financial support of my parents (plus a sister and brother) who lived in Meadville (my home town). The end of the second summer, I ended up with three different jobs. I was the Director of Children's Ministry, I was a teacher at a Christian school (PT teaching English, Math, Reading, Health and Home EC), and I was a consultant with a home-based business called Creative Memories. Having three jobs was tough.  Two would been hard enough, but I guess I wanted to see if I could do it. After the first grading period - six weeks, I think it was, I quit. The seniors in the English class through me a party and said I was their favorite teacher ever. Wow - I was honored but realized how hard teaching really was - espec for an elem ed teacher teaching high school classes - with teacher manuals. It was more work than a pt job should have been. But it was an experience. God gave me several opptys to lead the elementary kids during a chapel time, so that was fun. But all in all, my first priority should have been my own kids. And so I made sure after that, that I was home for them.

More transitions through the years with kids going to college, kids getting married, and then finally, God brought another man into my life - and we were married. More transitions as a step-mom and not wanting to be known as a wicked one. haha. All in all - a learning experience for all of us - sort of the good, the bad and the ugly at times. But worth it - because this man was great for me - and we blended well together as a family.

And you know, or have most likely read about the next changes - when our house burned down (this is another example of when I completely trusted God - for I had lost everything but an overnight bag). And then several years later, the death of my husband. And if you've had a chance to read the chapter "Finding My Way" in the book Emerge, then you've read the account of our marriage and where I am now - still on that journey - and about to take another turn in the road.

What I've found to be the most difficult for me, is to make a final decision about something. I can decide one way or the other and then completely change my mind back to the other. But to make it a final decision, that's tough. You get to where you count on your significant other for so many things; and then one day, they're gone and it's all you and God. Thankfully He is still there. I know it - I can feel Him holding me most days. I cannot do this on my own. I am very thankful to have friends whom I can trust to give me their best advice or opinions - to help me weigh all of the options, to help make those decisions. If it were left up to me - well - I'd hate to even say it - so I won't. I'm still here for a reason. God is not done with me yet. And it's His decision when my time is up, not mine.

So I'm going to continue to trust Him with my life - and pray that His will is also mine (or vice versa); and the journeys I get to take will honor Him always. I don't know how people can live without knowing God, and especially trusting Him to take care of them. I'm glad I do. And with that - my story continues until next time. Perhaps - we'll have an answer to where I am living and what kind of job I am doing. But one thing for sure - you know I will be writing! Take care and God bless.

A look back at 2015, and some goals for 2016

Looking back over 2015, I am very thankful, that despite some health concerns, nothing major took place. I will be on blood thinners for the rest of my life due to a genetic clotting disorder. But I can't really complain, because I still have the OK to travel, as long as I stop every 2 hours to walk around. Actually, it's sitting at home typing on the computer that probably does more damage - once I start writing, it can be hours before I'm willing to get up and take a break. In 2016, I need to eat better and exercise often (maybe lose a few pounds), and continue to help others.

My biggest accomplishment for 2015 was becoming a co-author in the book Emerge. A program called Transform thru Writing started in March and ended in September. I saw it as a means to an end. I had always wanted to write a book and I saw a FB post from Cassandra Washington (a coach I had met at a convention) looking for co-authors. I thought, why not check it out. The timing was good, because I wasn't that busy with gathering lessons at church or working a business my husband had left for me. And so I joined - and my passion for writing showed up right away and has not left my side. And through the lessons and the coaching calls - I discovered it wasn't going to be my writing that transformed, it was going to be me. And I'm continuing with the program in 2016 because I know there is still more of me to be transformed. I know God's not done with me yet, and there are so many more ways for me to grow (not outwardly, though!) If you haven't bought a copy of the book Emerge: Real Stories of Courage and Truth, I would recommend going to my shop tab of my website and click on the book Emerge - and it will take you directly to Amazon. My chapter, appropriately titled "Finding My Way" after the death of my husband, has been a journey all it's own. And I'm still traveling on that road, but discovering new roads toward greater things. 

So each year I like to have a summary of places I've been to during the year - so feel free to continue to read about my adventures. At the end of April - I took a short road trip to the King of Prussia (that's a city near Philadelphia) for a women's business conference. On the way home I was finally able to buy one of those EZ-Passes for the car. 

Then in May, I bought a new Camry and the very next day drove it to Chicago with a couple of friends to attend a Children's Ministry conference, The Gathering. We had fun traveling, and I was soon teased along the way because I almost ran into one of those toll bars. In PA, the toll booths with EZ-Pass, you just slowly drive through it, but in OH, apparently there's a bar! They even teased me at a RR crossing, "Sue, watch out for the bar!" Gotta love traveling with friends. Two days later, we drove home and then the next day I drove to Buffalo for a business training. Whew! Lots of miles on a new car - and that EZ-Pass? I don't know how I lived without it for so many years.  

In June - I drove down to Knoxville to watch my granddaughters in their dance recital -and left my car with my daughter Amy while my other daughter Sarah and I drove all 6 grand kids up to my house in PA. Amy and her husband drove up later. So for the first time in two years, I had all of my kids together with their significant other and kids and we had a family picture (there were 25 of us) done at a local park - on a bridge by a creek. Before Amy and her family left - we took a side trip up to Niagara Falls with the kids.

In July - I found myself wanting to drive out to Nova Scotia and Prince Edward Island, but not able to accomplish it on my own, so I changed directions and drove back down to Knoxville and got a hotel with a mini-water park attached - and had two kids at at time. It was a lot of fun, though I didn't get to see my daughter much. It was August by the time I got home from that trip. So I told the grand kids, they got to spend the summer with me!

In August - I took another trip up to Niagara Falls, but this time on the Canadian side with a friend, who didn't trust my ability to get from point A to point B - at all during the trip. Even when we were walking, "Are you sure you know where we're going?" I can laugh about it now.

In September - I flew down a day early to Dallas for a business annual convention. I was hoping to meet up with a friend I knew in GA, but as it was, she wasn't available. After the first night of activities, I was able to meet up with Cassandra Washington and several other co-authors from the books Emerge and Strengthen Your Wings (first book in series). There were some that were there for the business convention also, while others just lived nearby. It was surely a highlight of mine to spend time with them. We became instant friends.

At the end of September - I flew out to Chicago with another friend for another children's ministry conference: Group's Kid Min Conference. This was another great oppty to reconnect with friends from years' past. This was the 5th conference, and my 4th. Children's ministry is another passion of mine. I'm not as involved as I had been in years past, because I currently am not in a children' pastor position. But I have several friends that still keep up with me - and had been praying for my late husband and for me. 

In October - I decided to drive back down to Knoxville and help my daughter pack up her house. Her husband had accepted another position at a school in Charlotte - so they were going to be sorting out, getting rid of, donating, etc and needed some help. And my motto has always been - when in doubt, throw it out! So I went down. A week before going though, I felt like I might have gotten another blood clot in my leg and had gone to the ER to have an ultrasound done. It was negative, so three days later, I drove the 10 hours to Knoxville - stopping every 2 or so to walk around. The pain in my leg only intensified each time I got out of the car. But I ignored it - I was drinking lots of apple juice for the potassium (thinking i needed more to make the pain diminish). I arrived on a friday night - and on Saturday - we ran errands and I got to watch a couple of dance rehearsals. By Sunday - I was noticing a shortness of breath - espec walking up the stairs (the bedrooms were in the basement). I had talked about it with my daughter and decided to wait and call the Dr on Monday - to see if I could just get a script for my anxiety meds, which I had left at home. Well, Monday morning came - and I was chatting online with a nurse (from home) and she said - go to the hospital now - you have a PE (pulmonary embolism - aka blood clot) - and so when Amy got home - she took me to the ER. I was just going to have her drop me off there -but she stayed the entire day (as I was in the ER for 9 hours - mostly due to the lack of a free bed for staying overnight). So there I was - hearing the news once again that indeed there was a blood clot in my leg and multiple clots in my lungs. I knew something wasn't right - because although I did travel alot - I did take precautions - wearing the compression socks and taking breaks. I spent three days in the hospital in Knoxville and can say I wasn't much help afterall - with Amy packing - but we did get in a few conversations here and there, so that was good. No one wanted me to drive home myself (actually, I was a bit concerned as well) - so my sister and her husband drove down on the Sunday and spent the night, and then she drove me home in my car and Doug was in his, We stopped every two hours to walk around. I would walk until the pain was unbearable - could have been more clots - but never found out. It was good to be home finally - and I've been home ever since. Probably  my longest stay at home!

But I have a love for traveling - so I'm sure there will be some done in 2016. With two daughters getting new houses - surely, they need me to come visit them, if only to watch them carry boxes into the houses. 

I'm working on my goals for 2016 - some for personal, travel, health/fitness, business, financial, other. It's good to have a starting block - and then you pick the pace - everyone has 365 days and 24 hours - the same amount of time. Just want to make a difference for others - and be whom God wants me to be. 

And so my story continues...

And the greatest of these is love

Every time I open up my webpage, I see the old red barn sitting there with the lovely yellow forsythia bushes in bloom. That old barn fell down a few years ago, so it's always a pleasant memory to see it on my page.

Things come and go all the time. That's the way life is - the sun rises and the sun sets and as it says in Ecclesiastes, "everything is meaningless under the sun." Everything - school, dinner time, Sunday football games, the World Series, a lightning bug. Everything is meaningless under the sun.

Then why do we care so much about things. Are you putting our efforts into things that don't matter? Probably yes, but maybe not so much. It's all about your opinion in what you believe.

I believe that God created us to honor Him - to give Him the glory for everything we do - so if that's at school or sitting around the dinner table, or even watching the sports on TV - whatever we are doing during those times, it should be for His honor and glory.

God also created us to love Him with all our hearts, mind and soul - and to love our neighbor as ourselves. That's not such an easy task, but it's doable. These are His two most important commandments in the Bible. If we are doing only these two things, think of how much better our world would be.

Just love others. Show love to others. Share love with others. Be in love with others. This is the best four letter word I know - LOVE!

Reading from I Corinthians 13:1-13 (Jesus Centered Bible) Heading: Love is the Greatest

'If I could speak all the languages of earth and and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing.If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it, but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing.

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand it's own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about in justice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through ever circumstance.

Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when the time of perfection comes, these partial things will become useless.

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. but when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.

Three things will last forever - faith, hope, and love - and the greatest of these is love.'

Seasons

And on the seventh day, God rested. Whew - He was one busy man. He created everything just for us - His children.

I've been living in my current place for almost 18 months now, and therefore, have witnessed all of the seasons. I moved in during Spring, the leaves were just starting to unfold on their branches. The daffodils were blooming, as the birds were flying about from their nests to the trees, just waiting for their little ones to hatch. There was a nest above my porch light. The momma robin would scream at me every time I went in and out of my front door. She would fly out of her nest and flutter about five feet away, just waiting for me to get out of her way, so she could return to her eggs, to protect them.

But as much as I wanted to help her protect her little ones, the mess she created on my sidewalk and around the porch light was not so nice, as if someone had gotten hold of a can of white spray paint. It became a nuisance for any visitors. The alternative was to have everyone walk through my garage and come in through the laundry room. Not very pleasant either.

One day I decided to invite my new neighbors over to a Tupperware party. To prepare, I spent some time cleaning up the front entrance which also meant that I decided to move the nest to a tree in a wooded area. I cleaned up the light and the side of the house, and scrubbed the sidewalk. I was all ready for the guests to come. I had allowed the Tupperware lady to enter through the garage, so because I had left my garage door up, everyone came in through the laundry room. All that work, and they didn't even come in the front door. Thankfully, I did lead them out that way after the party. And after a few days, the robin was able to locate her nest. She wasn't too happy with me, understandably, as I was trying to make a good impression with my new neighbors and didn't want the robin to startle them away.

Summer came and went, and soon the leaves were changing colors and falling down to cover the grass. I have been blessed to be able to live in a development which provides some maintenance, so as lawn mowing, leaf raking and blowing, and even snow plowing. I love sitting in a chair in my bedroom and looking out the window at the nature God had created. Not a day goes by that I don't see a squirrel, usually being chased by a chipmunk - around the trees and through the grass, and sometimes along the garden border (which is like a wooden rail). It's amazing to watch the squirrels jump from tree to tree and even on the skinniest of branches. You wonder if they're even going to hold them - you expect the to fall - but then off they go - onto another one. Such entertainment God provided that doesn't have to be plugged into any circuits. Gotta love what He has done for us. I was able to witness a fawn this year, outside my window, less than 20 ft from my house. I've seen turkeys around the neighborhood, and some have reported seeing bears, also. I suppose we shouldn't be surprised to see the wild animals at our homes, since we took away their homes to make ours. But God is good - and still provides for all of us.

Even in the winter time, which is the least favorite around here, yet everyone is still here. I always comment to others when I hear them complain - "then why are you still living here?" I like the snow, I just don't love driving in it. When we get a good snow - good packing snow, I'm waiting to go out and play in it. Last year the snow just wasn't packable - til it started to melt. But even though it was, it didn't roll. So there I was with my shovel, out in the yard - lifting up wet snow - about 12 inches thick and making the biggest pile of snow I could handle. And then I carved out a snowman. It was funny looking, but it was cute. And of course, I put it in view of my bedroom window.

To love all the seasons, including the coldest one, is why I love living here in Meadville, PA. You get them all, though maybe not as much summer as we would like. Winter tends to come early and leave late. But there are so many beautiful things the snow can make - like the first snowfall on all of the branches - with the sun light glittering through the snowflakes. When you think about each snow flake - all originals. Amazing. Even an occasional ice storm can capture a photo worth taking. There is beauty in everything God created - even thunderstorms, which are not my favorite. But I've seen some amazing displays of lightning - almost more thrilling than a fireworks show. And the clouds that form tornadoes - photos of wall clouds, funnels, even the eye of a tornado or a hurricane - breathtaking. (Thankfully, I haven't experience a tornado yet.)

My favorite season is Spring - when the buds start popping out - from branches or stems. The first crocuses around the dogwood trees. Even a spring snow is nice. And when the weather warms up - the showers and walking through puddles. Yes, you're never too old to do that.

God created all of this beauty and more for us to enjoy everyday. You wonder though, how many people just pass it by without a thought or a wonder. People who live next to the Rocky Mountains but have never traveled into them; or those who live within driving distance to the ocean but miss opportunities to watch the tides roll in and out. Nature is all around us - even those who live in the bigger cities spot an occasional deer running into a toy store or a flock of geese flying south for the winter. Don't let the days pass you by without noticing what God has provided - use your senses to grasp the full meaning of life - the smells, the sounds, the sights, even the touches. It's all there for us - because He loves us.

Deck the halls already?

Less than five minutes after I started, my Christmas tree was up and lighted. Three pieces, three plugs, and a few branches to fold down and it was done. The weather outside wasn't frightful, no roaring fire to be delightful, and surely, there were places I could go - before just letting it snow! That was it - there was snow in the forecast. Snow at this time of year means the Christmas is right around the corner. But after glancing at the calendar, I saw it was only Nov 20; and Thanksgiving was next in line with only six days away. No, we don't want any snow on the roads then - too many travel that weekend.

Nope the snow's not here yet - though it was a little cooler today - in the mid 40's. Last week they were calling for 6-8 inches for over night on Saturday into Sunday - but because of the wind and the front - it's going to go north - northeast of us - and some of the skiing venues will get some snow to pack down for their season. I live near Lake Erie - and when the lake is not frozen over, we get the lake-effect snows and sometimes that can mean 10-12 inches in a matter of a few hours. So we have missed this snow machine - well, at least I have!

Anyway, when I had a big yard sale in 2013, I sold three Christmas trees for @$10 each. What was I thinking? One of them was over seven feet tall and was loaded with white lights. It was heavy, but beautiful. My plan was to sell the house and move into a condo - one just the right size for a table top tree. Well - Christmas came, and I had to let Wal-mart rescue me. I went out and brought home a six foot tree with colored lights. It appeared small in my great room with the vaulted ceiling. As it was, I didn't move until the next spring. And this time, I took the tree with me.

But when I was younger, it was a tradition to bundle up with hats, gloves and boots, and drive out to the local tree farm. With a bow saw in Dad's hand, we would race through the trees - studying each one: too tall, too short, not enough branches, too wide, until we could all agree on just the right one. One year, my dad cut the trunk about six feet up - just to get the best part of the tree - that is, the part that would fit in the house. Mom wasn't into cutting holes in the ceiling just for a seasonal Christmas tree. Dad would let us take turns at the saw, but as a child, I just wasn't strong enough to spend much time helping. When it was down we all grabbed part of the trunk - I probably held up the top, and carried it out to the car. Dad would pay the owner and then we would tie it to the top of the station wagon, and pray it was still on there when we got home. Sometimes, Mom would stay behind, and have some hot cocoa waiting for us to warm our hands on the mugs.

I think the tree had to stay outside for a day, perhaps. I remember as an adult holding up the tree and bouncing it on the ground for all of the loose needles to fall out, and maybe snow, if indeed there was some that year.

But Dad never bought a tree before Thanksgiving. It was always on the weekend (or Sunday) before Christmas. I heard him tell the story of a time when he went out to buy a tree on Christmas Eve, and then went back the day after Christmas to pay for it.

It was also a family tradition to decorate the tree together - and reminisce about particular ornaments that were made by us kids through the years, or ones that a relative would give us. Some years we would put strings of popcorn around the tree. I think we tried cranberries one time, but only remember them falling apart as soon as the needle passed through it. And the top of the tree would be an angel or a homemade star made out of cardboard and some aluminum foil.

Every year we set the tree on a train board. My brother would add tracks that would take the train under some of the living room chairs too. We would take turns setting up all of the accessories - miniatures villages, people, etc. Almost every year, the train would successfully go around the tree, until we added a cat to our family. Shadow would sit and swat at the train. I'm sure he tried to pounce on it once or twice. Sometimes my brother would tease the cat - making the train go forward and backward - waiting to see the cat's reaction. Thankfully, our dog, Duffy, wasn't bothered by the train.

And so - these are some stories from my childhood - decking the halls. So blessed to have them in my head (and now in this blog).

More years of Christmas traditions with my own kids yet to come ... until then.

What to do without cable?

I think this is the first time since they invented cable, that I have chosen not to have it. Originally, I called about just deleting the home home since I never answered it when it rang (it was never for me because I didn't give out the number to anyone). But it was only going to change my bill by $4.05. So I inquired about cutting cable, because watching one show turned into watching another and another and I wasn't getting any else done. The computer is in my bedroom with no TV (access was available but I gave the TV to one of my kids) and the main TV was in the living room. So I couldn't mulit-task. And I knew that I really needed to be with the computer - to pay bills, to catch up with friends on FB, to watch training videos for my pt business, to write blogs, and write chapters for the book that sits in a file.

So here I am, cable-less. And of course, the timing is never right. Two of my favorite series will be showing a new season soon - When Calls the Heart and Downton Abbey. And then there's the occasional football game and all the Christmas movies on Hallmark. By the time I decide to add it back, some of those shows will be having reruns. Of course I'm aware of other ways to view shows, such as on Netflix and online. But I'm no worse for wear for not watching them at all.

Actually, I'm excited to have one less distraction in the house. I need to focus on more important tasks at hand. I have several books on my kindle just waiting for me to swipe a page or two. And they there are the books on my shelves that are only collecting dust bunnies. This is a good opportunity to keep reading and learning. It's never wrong to improve on yourself, and we're never too old to learn.

Mostly, I need to focus on writing. I joined the NaNoWriMo which is National Novel (not November) Writing Month and I have yet to start, except about 300 words I wrote earlier. But then there was a distraction and I walked away. I need to set a timer and write until it rings. There are so many words in my head just waiting to appear on paper or on the desktop. I need to remember how to do the SOC writing, that is, Streams of Consciousness. That's when you write and write and write whatever you are thinking and you don't stop to correct the spelling or the punctuation. Because it doesn't matter. What matters is that the words are written down - your thoughts are exposed, yes. That could be a good thing. You are transformed - you are a new person. Just like writing in the book program that produced the book, Emerge. I wrote page after page - not only because it was an assignment, but because it felt so natural to do. I need to get back to that kind of writing. Just let it go - no, I'm not going to start singing!

A picture is worth a thousand words - imagine how many pictures you get out of a story? Maybe not a thousand, but surely more than one if it's written with passion and clarity. I did set a goal to write a book this winter, so without cable, I have one less excuse to keep me from pursuing it. It's time to set some goals and then go after them. Always looking forward to the next adventure. Until then...

Making time to write

Wasn't it just summer? Where are the seasons going? We're in the middle of fall and it snowed in my neck of the woods over the weekend. I even had my first snowball fight with two little kids - it was a playful fight. I wanted to build a snowman but with no gloves on, my hands were already frozen. I had to use my sleeve to push the snow off of my car. When I arrived at home, I found the snow brush and put it into the car (and hopefully it will act like an umbrella and keep any more snow away until December!)

Here we are past the middle of October, which means it won't be long now until I pack my suitcase for a trip down to Tennessee to visit my daughter(s) (hope it's both of them) and my grandkids. I haven't seen them since August. But we recently skyped, and that's almost as good as being there. I'll be helping Amy with fall cleaning. "When in doubt, throw it out" is my motto. Though I also have granddaughters in this area who might get some hand-me downs. It will be a fun time - looking forward to at least one meal out (since I don't do that very often here.)

After I get home, I'll be involved in a writing group called NaNoWriMo, which stands for National November Writing Month. It's designed for anyone who loves to write to spend time doing what they love. They have a set goal of 50,000 words - that's @1667 a day. I actually think it's doable - though I know there will be some days dedicated to other things, so maybe it will be harder than I think. But even if I don't reach the goal, I'm better off for giving it a try. I'll be working on my first book, called Around Robin Hood's Barn. (You will recognize it as the title of my website, and similar to the blog).

I was recently asked to write a blog for the One Degree Shift group, which also supports the writing program that produced the book Emerge. I wrote about the ministry I formed as I was finishing up the chapter. Starting in March, I'll be writing in the third book program which will produce the book, Soar. Any time to write is fine with me and what I love to do. Since the more you do something, the better you become at it; and the more you read, the more words you put in your head, then reading makes you a better writer. I have to make sure I schedule time to do both of these things, since I'm not completely dedicated to doing at the moment, but soon. It's a mindshift - it's redefining what's important to me to and making sure I follow through with those activities.

With the help of the Transform Thru Writing book program, I am starting to gain back my confidence and belief in myself. (that which I lost when my husband died two years ago). Timing is everything. Becoming a co-author has been a dream come true. As long as I am moving in the forward direction, all is good. And so my story continues...

Discoveries

Life is a mystery - the minute you figure something out, another puzzle is put in front of you. I don't know why I'm always surprised to find myself going through life's mazes of twists and turns, dead ends and switchbacks. But here I am - among the storms of life.

It's not even a big storm. That would have been the time when our house burned down or when my husband was diagnosed with an incurable cancer (and died). No, the storms now are just light showers, maybe even sprinkles. Just enough to make a puddle to stand in and know your dependence needs to remain on God - for everything. Don't ever hold anything back from Him - He knows about those secrets - you can't hide from Him. And always know that God loves you no matter what's going on in your life. He just wants you to love Him in return and give Him the honor and glory for your life.

I do love my God, my Savior, my Lord. There have been times in my life when I've tried to hide or sneak away from Him (not sure why I thought I could even do that. lol), only to be uncovered by others speaking His words to me. God never left me, even when I thought I was leaving Him behind. In the song - O no, you never let go of me...so true, for it was me who let go of God. And why do I do that? Why is it that I don't want to always share myself with Him? Yes, it's sin. Sin separates us from God. We can't have them both at the same time. We have to love God more.

So for now, wherever I go, I am taking God with me on this life journey. Over mountains during great times, happy moments, etc; and through the valleys - when times are tough and discouraging; I need to remember that He is my strength, my comforter, my peace. No matter what comes my way, I need to remember that He is there holding me through it all because God loves us unconditionally.

Attending Conferences

Walking into a room full of people - some you know, others you don't - but you have that one thing in common. It could be the name of the business you are doing (if you're attending a work conference); or it could be having a relationship with God.

This past weekend I had the privilege of attending my 4th Kidmin Conference, put on by Group Publishing. I have only missed one conference (due to my husband's bout with cancer). Each year, I gain several friends and so it's always rewarding to return to see a familiar face - someone whom I have prayed for, and them for me.

The theme was abide. John 15:9 "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love." In other words, take root in His Word. Read it, study it, let it grow inside of you so it can become a part of you. Therefore when storms come (and they will), you will remain strong. It's when we don't nourish ourselves in His Word, that our roots begin to wither and sometimes die. And when the storms come, our foundation has crumbled and we are shaken apart. We can't stand up on our own.

I bought a new Bible over the weekend - it's called the Jesus Centered Bible. It has blue lettering in the Old Testament and red lettering in the New Testament. The blue lettering shows references to Christ, and the red lettering is Christ. I'm looking forward to reading it. I've read through the New Testament several times over the last 30 years or so; but have never read every book in the Old Testament. So now I have a new goal.

I purchased several other books including: Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker; Becoming Who You are in Christ by Allie Marie Smith and the Team at Wonderfully Made; God so loved the word...that He created Chocolate by Group publishing; and Big Dreams from Small Spaces - also by Group. The last two are devotion books. You can never read too many books. I'm mostly excited about digging deeper into God's Word and discovering all there is for me to know and apply to my life.

Some of the entertainment at Kidmin included the Skit Guys. And on Sunday evening they did their most popular skit called the Chisel. This is when God chisels away all of the extra things we have added into our lives that covered Him up. So that when we looked into a mirror, we no longer saw Him there. God created us in His own image. He wants us to be like Him. Yet He also gave us the right to choose what to do with our lives. Unfortunately, sometimes we choose things that aren't attractive to Him. We need to be willing to allow God to chisel us back into His image.

One of the other speakers, Steve Adams, from Saddleback Church, started his message from John 15:16 which reads "You did not choose Me but I chose you, and appointed you that you would go and bear fruit, and that your fruit would remain..." Steve said that "we need to be connected to Jesus. To abide in Him because without Him, we're just a twig - only good for a fire." This goes along with strengthening our roots - so that our branches will stay strong and our fruit will continue to produce. He spoke about comparison - and how the enemy deceives us through discouragement, doubts, and distractions. We need to remember that God invests in us and He created us to be His masterpiece. Steve says "we need to recognize our true identity. Release the burdens and pressure of being someone else. And then our impact will be different from others. We should just be the fruit God created us to be - then we will have fruit that remains."

We had a jazz night - complete with a jazz band. Amazingly the band was comprised of players from Colorado and Illinois - and they only had one rehearsal together. They said it was because they were able to practice on their own time. The speaker, Robert Gelinas, says "I see jazz in Jesus. Just like in jazz, where there is a sort of call and response time, Jesus is calling out to us but is anyone responding?" He said "if you're going to go after one thing, let it be God. And don't wast your pain - hold on to it. God will use you." He said, "God is the original Jazz Ensemble - the 3 in 1. Anyone can join the ensemble of God - just abide."
And finally, "Ensemble has an assumption and that is to practice, practice, practice. Be a practicing Christian."

Our MC for the weekend was Christine Yount Jones. She spoke to us on Sunday morning about Abide. Reading from John 15:1 "I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser." She said the vinedresser does the pruning (similar to the chisel). Describing the four seasons, she said, "Spring is a time of waiting. Although that seem passive, it is not. It's a time of grappling with God." We need to be a watchman (Psalm 30), and keep our eyes on God (while we wait). "Summer is a time of nourishment. God is the keeper - he keeps the predators away." John 15:17 reads Hope does not disappoint. "Fall is a time for harvest. Beware, there are a lot of impostors, but there is only One True Vine. Quit looking on the outside of God for growth. Be plugged into God." And finally "Winter is where the pruning takes place. Pruning stimulates growth. It is said that 90% of the vine is pruned each year and always comes back with more branches, more fruit)." Chris ended with this, "In quietness, trust in your strength. because at the end of the rope, God is there."

On Sunday night, Jen Hatmaker was the guest speaker. She began with "sometimes God says no. When you go for a yes and God wants a NO, then it's a mess. Be believers first and foremost. Our identity is the interior work that must be done for the roots to be strong and anchored to God. Otherwise, you become prideful, depressed, and have a big ego. We need to switch our default from a yes to a no. We cannot make God known, when we know we are not known. (for Christ should live in us - if He is not seen, God is not there.) And be willing to tell others that they are a mess. God was satisfied with the cross and how it was finished. Why are we dissatisfied about trying to earn His grace? God is for us and with us, not against us." There was so much more but she ended with this, "Know the last fresh thing God did in your heart and then be willing to share it."

As you can read - it was a full weekend with great speakers, not to mention the worship by Shane and Shane, and the Christian Comedian Chonda Pierce. This is truly a great conference - each year it just gets better and better. Looking forward to the next one in 2017.

a published author

Here I am - now known as a published author. Wow, just letting it soak in. Now I'm anxious to hear what people think about my chapter. Will they be inspired? Will they cry? (well, if it helps, I cried while writing it). It took me a long time to finish it - because in reality, my story is still unfolding in front of me. Perhaps that will be the chapter in the next book - the 3rd in the series. Excited though that hundreds or thousands of people will have the oppty to read the chapters - and be inspired and encouraged.

I can hold my head up a little higher now. I am proud of myself, if that's ok. I've been through so many different journeys over the last few years. It feels good to just sit back and be this new person - a published author. But not taking many days off, as the need to continue to write and inspire others is always on my mind. I love how my FB page - Susan W Corbran, author - is growing with lots of comments and interaction. I'm gaining new friends, for sure.

As I find myself sharing about becoming a published author, others are opening up and sharing their own stories with me. Some wish they had the time to sit down and write, while others would prefer to hire a ghost writer and then just sit back and enjoy the story in book form. However you decide - perhaps just an audio story - or a few words with some pictures. Just tell the story.

Several years ago, I was a consultant with Creative Memories - scrapbooking. And we would share how you could have a book of pictures, but without the words, it could be whatever story the reader made up to go with it. So if you want people to know your story - you need to tell it with words. Otherwise, you can't complain the stories they make up about you. :)

We continue to promote the book EMERGE: REAL STORIES OF COURAGE AND TRUTH, because we know there are many people - men and women, who need to read these stories. Please order a copy for yourself and one for a friend. They make great Christmas gifts, also.

Until next time...

To order a book - just go to my website - suecorbran.com and click on the shop tab, and then select the book Emerge. Thanks.

The River of Silvery Silence

Back in the late 70's, I applied and was accepted into the Institute of Children's Literature, out of CT. It was a correspondence course, because there was no internet then (or atleast not in homes). One of the lessons asked me to write a story with description. I wasn't sure I could do it but grabbed my thesaurus and gave it a try. My results were a big Excellent written across the top of the page. Here is my story to share with you.

It is based on the Merriland River off of Hobbs Farm Road in Wells, ME - just down from our family cabins.

The River of Silvery Silence

Silence grew longer as the water trickled around the paddles. There was a soft breeze blowing the fall leaves across the bottomless body of water. Shades of orange, yellow, red, violet,and green were concealed within the leaves.

With each shallow stroke, a nearby green tree frog would leap into the water's edge. While the small box turtles skidded through the bright green lily pads, tiny air bubbles appeared at the top of the glittering water. Little fish were swimming far below the canoe in the swift current.

The pine trees that were located along the rocky river bank were filled with a lovely incense that spread throughout the air. The scarlet cardinal flowers were surrounded by sea-green lily pads and they brightened the river with a sweet-smelling fragrance.

As the canoe drifted downstream, the sun slowly set in the west. Because the shadows of the trees were much larger than the actual size, they became something out of a fantasy land.

The area around the canoe became enclosed with a deep misty fog, often called ground fog in the area of Southern Maine. Heat from the water rose up into the ground fog as steam would from a boiling kettle. The breeze now became a whisper as the moon rose into the sky and the temperature grew much cooler.

The murmuring of birds in the distance were a pleasure to hear. They were possibly kingfishers or bright red-breasted robins. They might also have been blue jays or cardinals. The water snakes slithered through the water like it wasn't even there. Every once in awhile, one would stop and a deadly hissing sound would come from its mouth.

The paddles of the canoe would then move on slowly downstream where it would be time to leave the river of silvery silence.

Encouraging Others and Yourself

Above my desk, is a black tri-fold cardboard which is nailed to my wall. This is my board with encouraging and inspirational posts. I created it last summer after moving into my condo - my new home with just myself living here. It can get lonely at times, so I thought having this board in front of me, it would also help me to continue to move forward.

Honestly, there are many times that I sit at my computer with my fingers moving on the keyboard and my eyes are glued to the monitor, that I don't even notice the board on the wall. How sad, I think. Because it's probably during those times when I need to be reading those words. Here is a short list of some of the posts pasted there:

Replace excuses with effort and replace laziness with determination and everything else will fall into place.

Your most valuable asset can be your willingness to persist longer than anyone else.

We are going to make it...with the help of the LORD.

Your Future is created by what you do today, not tomorrow!

When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal, you do not change your decision to get there.

There is no elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

Waste your money and you're only out of money, but waste your time and you've lost a part of your life.

Success begins with can, failure begins with can't.

Life can be full of unexpected things, either happy or sad. But no matter what happens..Just keep a loving heart, a wise mind, and a strong faith in God..He will always stay with us through all the journeys of our life.

Remember faith, virtue, knowledge, temperance, patience, brotherly kindness, Godliness, charity, humility, diligence.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

When you are going through something hard and wonder where God is, remember the teacher is always quiet during a test.

Sometimes we need someone to simply be there..not to fix anything or do anything in particular, but just to let us feel we are supported and cared about.

And the list goes on.

About a week and a half ago, I went to see the movie War Room. I highly recommend this movie for everyone - maybe age 10 and up. People need God in their lives. I know I need Him. Today I cleared out a space in my closet and taped up a list of everyone in my family and added in some key Scriptures to recite. I made my own war room. I know there have been many days gone by that I didn't stop to talk to Him. I usually spend time at night - writing out my prayers; but when I was recently out of town, I left Him at home (for the most part). I need to spend time with Him every day. He created us to shine our lights for Him, to give Him our praises, to glorify Him. And in return, He will bless us.

I remember a saying from church camp - Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last. That's what pure JOY is. It's not about us. It's never about us. It's always about God. People talk about wanting to be happy and that we should do whatever it is to make sure we are happy. But I don't believe that's what God truly wants for us - unless we are also honoring Him with our lives. Happiness depends on happenings, joy depends on Jesus.

I'm on a journey. Well - we are all on a journey. Where is it that you're going? I just want to make sure that when people see me out and about, they will recognize Christ living in me. As my late husband would say, it's a process. And I'm willing to accept the challenge.

Until next time...around Robin Hood's Barn.

written but never mailed - a goodbye letter

I went to a grief recovery class in the fall of 2013, just a few months after Barry went to heaven. I was surprised at the different things that qualified as a loss - such as moving from state to state, changing schools across town, changes in friendships, etc. I used to think loss was only about divorce and death. The class was great and one of the lessons recommended writing a closure letter - writing down things left unsaid and then say goodbye; it was certainly very therapeutic. So I decided to include parts of the letter here; perhaps by reading it, you'll be able to get some things said before you have to deal with a loss.

(Barry died on 7-19-2013)

Dear Barry,

I miss you. This life without you in it is very hard – harder than I ever imagined. But it is doable. Some days, I just don’t feel like doing anything. I know you would understand – because you went through this grieving process when Malinda died. Just 8 ½ years ago – you swept me off my feet when you called me from Disney World. I had no clue that you liked me that much. It meant a lot – and really helped get the ball rolling in our relationship. I needed you – and you needed me. I truly believe we were meant to be together – even if it was just for a short time. It was definitely a God-thing. 

So, I’ve had this chance to review our relationship (oh, how I wished it had lasted longer than this. I will always cherish our moments together.) I want to apologize to you, Barry, for being so needy. I know for awhile you must have thought that I was overbearing – always wanting to be with you – by your side.  Thanks for accepting me unconditionally. You showed me what love is all about – God first and then us. Thank you for bringing Him back into my daily walk.

Barry, I apologize for being sarcastic at times and/or finishing your sentences. I know that bothered you. There were times I didn’t give you a chance to say exactly what you wanted. I’m sorry for that. And I apologize for getting upset when you didn’t (couldn’t) hear me the first or second time I told you something. I was so relieved when you finally let me buy hearing aids for you (in 2011). That was six years of me saying to you – I love you – and you not hearing me or thinking I said something else. That was frustrating to me – so Barry, I apologize for over reacting to something you couldn’t control at the time.

Although our marriage only went for a little over 8 years, we had our ups and downs. Barry, I forgive you for being a workaholic. I don’t even think you realized it. Your mom even told me you were one. I think your focus was always providing the best that you could – for your family – and so if that took a little more time in the day, you did it. But you working a lot was hard for me – because when we were dating, we spent a lot of time together. 

Barry, I forgive you for always being available to other people – to help them with projects, etc. This sort of goes with the first one – but I know deep down that this was one of your gifts from God. So it was me being jealous of others who got to spend time with you. So Barry, I apologize for that.

Of course, when cancer came into our life – I got you back all to myself. But the chemo took away your strength and slowed your life down. It made it almost impossible for us to spend any alone time together. I know that it was really God who was preparing me to lean on Him for comfort and other things. But I love you so much. I know you missed this time, too. So I'm, sorry you felt left out or lonely – when again, you had no control over the circumstances.

Barry, I want you to know that I will always cherish this time we had together. I will always thank God for putting us together. You were my Knight in Shining Armor. You loved me unconditionally, the way that God loves each of us. Thank you.

Barry, I want you to know that I really appreciated the fact that you loved my children and grandchildren, as if they were biologically yours! Amy, Mike and Sarah each have a special place in their hearts for you – as I do. And your grandkids – Natalie, Alyssa, Lauren, and Noah. They all love you and miss you so much. But you will live in them. They share your love for ministry. You would be so proud of them. I remember in our vows to each other – you said you would love and take care of my kids the best you could. And you did that! Thank you so much, my Barry!

Barry, I want you to know how much I loved you when you were here. I just couldn’t get enough of you. And I know that you were always doing your best to please me. You built this house for us – but you also built it so that I could have a house to call our own. I loved building the decks with you and the deer stand. I loved hunting with you and helping you drag them back to the house. I loved those trips we went on – with and without our kids. I’m so glad that I got to take you west of OH! We had so much fun together. And I still have 6 messages on my voice mail – that I continue to listen to  - to hear your voice –to hear the love you have for me – while you sing to me. And I love to watch that video of you dancing – the one Mike took at Waldameer, when you didn’t expect to be taped. You surely have some moves.

Barry, I want you to know that I appreciate everything you taught me – to enjoy life to it’s fullest. To be able to dance out in public and not worry what others are thinking. To sing to your heart’s content. And that everything is a process.

Barry, I want you to know that it was my pleasure to take care of you when you had cancer. It wasn’t always easy, but I know God was with us every step of the way.

Barry, I want you to know that I will continue to love God with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my strength. He will be #1 in my life always. Thank you for leading me back to Him. (And that reminds me, thank you for being the Godly leader in our home. What a difference that makes.) Thanks for praying with me, and praying for me.

Barry, I want you to know that I will honor your request – to get married again when God sends that someone special my way. I have several requirements this time around – you know – it’s hard to top you, my Barry! But it’s not that I’ll be replacing you – it will be someone that I will be able to share life with. I won’t even say it will be a forever love (like what we had) – it will be just for as long as God allows it to last.

Thank you for everything, Barry. I will always love you. I will see you again. Goodbye for now.                                               Love, Sue

How many licks does it take...?

I was thinking about that line - "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop lollipop?" Do you know? Have you ever counted them? Have you tried it? I think I succeeded once, but it was so long ago I couldn't tell you how many licks it took. Most likely it was too many; which is why after a few licks in, my teeth take over and crunch, I find the best part - the chocolate.

So is this post about being patient? Is it about not giving up? Is it about, well, at least you tried? The end result of this post won't even be written here; because it has yet to happen.

I have a FaceBook (FB) page. I'm sure several of you have been on it - it's most likely that you were on that first before going to my website to find my blog. I started my FB page to highlight short stories from my life - from birth to death and everywhere in between; and it's also used as a place to share inspirational posts that I see in my news feed (on my regular FB account). I also wanted to highlight the book, Emerge, that will be released on Amazon on September 14, 2015. This book allows me to claim the words "published author" on my resume'. I'm excited for sure because my chapter is about me - it's where I've been over the last ten years and gives a glimpse of where my journey might take me. I know I need to stay plugged into God, leaning on His Word, His Way, to be able to find my way. (Hence the title of my chapter - Finding My Way).

Writing my prayers helps me express to God how thankful I am, even for the little things in my life. Writing has always been a passion and is a great way to release the things that build up inside of me. My life has been intertwined with trials, joy, struggles, and happiness, -all to show how God continues to be my strength during this life journey. Many have said that I have been an inspiration to others and I hope it's because they see how much God has provided for me through the years. I believe my purpose is to continue to inspire others, sharing His love through my writing.

The other night I was watching the movie, "God's Not Dead". Remembering the scene in the church when the minister was asking Josh about how many of those kids in his class would step foot into the church building and Josh responded probably none. And so the minister said, then it's your job to bring God to that classroom.

Like Josh, I need to be the seed planter, and the one who waters, and let God do the harvesting. My seeds are planted in my blog, my website, and my FB page; as they all belong to God and it is through those avenues that I hope people will be able to meet God.

So how many licks does it take? or in my case, how many likes does it take? Amazon says a minimum of 500 likes on a FB page or website before they will allow them to become an Amazon affiliate - that is, a place where one can access Amazon and purchase the book, Emerge, along with anything else they want. And if God directs me to point them in the direction of a faith-based movie or another book, then that's what I'll be doing. (That's 500+ people who might not ever step foot into a church building.)

So this as my mission field. A ministry, per se. Wherever I am where my fingers can type or my hand can hold a pencil - that is where I can share Christ with others. I don't have to travel across the ocean, but I might; I don't have to live in a grass hut, but I could; I don't have to eat grasshoppers (though I have); I don't have to walk miles to and from villages (though I could try) and I don't have to leave the comforts of my home (but I probably will). Through my God-given gift of writing, I can inspire and encourage so many more for God. Therefore, the end result of this post is only known to God. It's truly up to Him.

Words of thanks I wish I had said to my parents

I found this writing in another blog I had started (Philippians413).
My mom died on January 11, 2011. 

These are some things I should have told her before she died.

Mom - I love you so much. Thanks for being there for me- especially when I was younger. I know you were on my side alot - cause you were the youngest of four kids, just like me. I'm sorry for the times I disappointed you and dad. Thanks for forgiving me. Thanks for giving me unconditional love and supporting me when I was a single parent. I couldn't have done it without you. Thanks for teaching me about flowers or atleast how to weed around them (though I wish you had stopped adding more gardens to your property). I'm sorry I didn't gain your love for sewing or knitting. I can't add cooking, cause I know you didn't like that either. And though this might sound strange - thanks for not showing me how to use makeup or do my nails - you've saved me a lot of money over the years! Thanks for sharing your love of travel with me - I love it too. And I'm slowly learning where all of the dirt roads in Crawford County lead to. Thanks for always pointing out the hawks and eagles on our road trip - I handed that down to my kids too. I could go on and on. You taught me a lot and I really appreciate it. Thanks. I hope to do as well with my own kids and grandkids. I love you. I'll see you again - in heaven.

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Why is it that we don't acknowledge how much we admire or appreciate others 

while  they're still alive? We should be celebrating their life all year long, because you 

never know when their last day will be here, nor your own.

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My dad died June 8, 2008. These are some things I should have told him.

Dad - I love you so much. Thanks for supporting me over the years and taking time to go fishing and teaching me about patience (waiting for the fish to bite) and how to enjoy nature. I'll never forget the times when you were fly fishing and you called me over to untangle your line from the bushes on the other side of the stream. Thanks for all the car rides around Robin Hood's barn, as both you and Mom had a love for travel that has seeped into me and I am always looking forward to the next road trip. Thanks for teaching me how to play the recorder and for all the duets we had, including when I played the piano and you played the recorder. I loved spending moments with you - helping you mow the lawn or trim the bushes or clean out the fish ponds. Although I didn't have a love for physics or history or law, you still engaged in conversations with me about things I liked. Thanks for trusting me with your car - in both my teenager and college years. Thanks for handing me my high school diploma during graduation (since you were on the school board). Many thanks for helping me pay off some debts I occurred as a single parent. Although there were times when I found it hard to approach you, I always felt better afterwards. Thanks for loving me unconditionally. I will always remember those nights when you showed us how to look through the telescope to see the craters on the moon or to look at Jupiter, Mars or Venus. Both you and Mom taught me many things about life, how to work hard, and to love others. I will always miss you both!

Woo Hoo - soon to be a published author

I'm excited for sure. I have dreamed of writing a book and having it published. Writing has been in my blood - I think I was born to write. But life just took over for a few decades. Thankfully, the door has opened once again for me to write and share with others. I have 54 years of experiences - and that's more than 54 experiences to share. I know not every one of them will find their way on paper, but most will. I started writing after Christmas one year. Mom said that if we wanted a present from Aunt Helen next year, we had to write a thank you letter to her this year. Mom told us this every year. I don't think thank you letters were our favorite thing to do after opening our gifts, but as the years went by, we always found time to write - because who doesn't want to get a gift at Christmas? It's funny, though, that the writing of thank you notes have gone by the wayside. After writing with a pen and having a cramped hand, I learned how to use a typewriters and those white-out strips for when you made a mistake. Thankfully I didn't have to use carbon paper. Then again, writing the same note only once would have been a great idea - just write in the name and make it as generic as possible. After typewriters came computers and email. You know how fast you can send a thank you note on a computer? In a split second. Then you're right back to playing with those new gadgets you got for Christmas.

Thankfully, I've had more fun writing letters than just a simple thank you note. I recently learned this team - stream of consciousness writing. I hadn't realized it, but I had been using it all along - whenever I was writing a letter to my grandma or to my mom when I was in college or a new mom. I had so much to say and just sort of rambled the words together (sort of like I'm doing now). But the receivers of the letters didn't mind at all. They said they loved reading my letters. I really should get back into do that - even if it's just typing them in an email. Atleast they're getting something from me. Both my parents are now deceased, as are my grandparents, and my husband. But I have two aunts that would still love to read a letter from me now and then. That would be the right thing to do.

We get so caught up in life - I know, I'm addicted to FB. I love to get on it several times a day to see what everyone's up to. I love to send out prayers to people or words of encouragement. I feel like I would miss so much if I ever walked away from it. But I can also see the advantage of not being on it all the time. Then when something happens in your life and you share it in person, they can't say, "Oh, I read that on FB!" Funny how that happens - we get so excited about things, the first place we go is to post it on FB. They say it's not official if it's not on FB! But as a writer, if you have a pet peeve for grammar and spelling - you can't complain about it on FB. Anything goes on there - pretty much. And everything is an acronym, except in little letters like lol, ikr, and even ones I don't care to right (or read).

So my title - it's time to talk about that! I am going to be a published author in September of this year. I'm so excited. The book title will be announced in August and then I can start promoting it even more. I've had the oppty to read some of the entries (chapters) and let me say, you will be inspired, maybe even challenged by the transformations people are sharing in their chapters. I hope you'll be inspired by my chapter. I'm on the upside of Barry's anniversary in heaven, and so I know the climb to the next mountain top is going to be amazing. I hope to continue to shine for Christ wherever I go, and with whatever I write. I know (Phil 4:13) I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. That's like my theme verse. The strength I've received from God has surely been present in my life  - all of it, really. And I thank Him for being there for me, loving me unconditionally - through whatever life has taken me.

If you haven't taken the opportunity to pre-order a copy of the book I have written in, then do so now - go to my website suecorbran.com and place an order via PayPal - just $15 (plus tax) for hand delivery within 2 hours of Meadville (or if you're going to KidMin in Chicago in Sept); or $23 (includes tax and shipping). All pre-ordered books will be signed by me with a personal message for you (or a friend, if designated). I look forward to sharing more with all of you in the days and weeks ahead. Watch for news on a prebook launch party in August - and a book signing party in late Sept or early Oct. Kudos to you - and happy writing right back at you!