Who was I kidding? Closure?
I was back at the house again this morning and then again, this afternoon. Still looking through the ashes. I guess I don't have closure yet. Just trying to find one more thing - anything. I did find some more silverware - we should have close to a set now. I took a pic of Amy's baby shoe (it's already on the site). When I went back this afternoon - I found some of Mike's drawings and a notebook. I grabbed them - even with the smoky smell and the burnt edges. Some people burn their pages on purpose to make them authentic.
I guess there won't be closure til the house is taken down and hauled away. It's mind boggling - to see all what was lost. Every day I am reminded of something else that was in our bedroom. I'm glad our new house is going to have a fire wall between the garage and the house (not to say that all fires start in garages) - better to protect one place.
And I think I told you already -that we have a new waterproof, fireproof safe. The waterproof is a big deal. All of our other papers and documents were wet. We had to find a place to spread them out separately and dry them, so they would not stick together.
Our questions are coming. Why now? Even though it was inevitable - why couldn't it have started when Heather wasn't home? Do you wonder sometimes why things happen when they do? Barry is called the Modern Day Job - but I hope not -cause the one and only Job in the Bible lost his children, too. Within the last five years, Barry lost his first wife to cancer (brain tumor) in May of 2004; his mom to cancer (lung) in Jan. 2008; his father in law (my dad) to cancer (pancreatic) in June 2008; and now his house - to a fire (April 2009). But he's the ever ready bunny and keeps going. His faith is strong. He knows that God will continue to take care of him - no matter what happens.
I knew his wife, Malinda. We were friends at church. I watched Barry take care of her - even at the hardest times- with the cancer or when she had hip surgery - and during her last days. I admired that in him. His compassion, his strength, his love. We all know where it came from - our heavenly Father - who watches over us day in and day out.
I was telling Amy and my mom recently - but it's sort of ironic - but just a week or so before the fire I was wondering if something terrible happened to me - how would I react to it? Would I still be able to show Christ to others, despite any pain or suffering? Well - here I am - telling you the truth. God is awesome. He picks us up and carries us - all the way through the pain and suffering. I know I couldn't do it without Him and I'm sure Barry would say the same.
So back to the Why now? Not sure - suppose I'll find out someday. But for now - I can't do anything about it - nor could I have prevented it from happening. It did. Now is the time to move on. Soon we'll be taking pictures of people hauling our stuff out of the house - off the grass - out of the garage and even out of our friends' garage (where some stuff is located that needs to be thrown out). It's a long process (Barry's favorite word). But God is supplying the patience for us - cause we are asking for it everyday. We are also asking for strength. It's not that we doubt the Lord is there to take care of us - it's that we need to ask God everyday for things. He wants to hear from us. He wants us to acknowledge our need for Him in our lives. And, it makes us feel better when we do talk to Him on a daily basis.
We have to stay strong - for the others that look up to us. Maybe even people that might go through the same thing in the years to come. We don't know. Only God knows. He is in control. We love Him so much. He is our Lord and Savior.
We hope that others will see Christ in us and will want that for themselves. It's surely not an easy road to travel on - but it's definitely worth it. We have hope in our Lord. He will take care of us.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (finish reading through verse 8)
God is using us for His glory. We should feel honored that our faith in Him is strong - our love is strong and our witness is strong. We should be asking God everyday to use us - to do His will.
Continue to pray for us - with us - and for your own walk in Christ.
Have a great week in the Lord.
I guess there won't be closure til the house is taken down and hauled away. It's mind boggling - to see all what was lost. Every day I am reminded of something else that was in our bedroom. I'm glad our new house is going to have a fire wall between the garage and the house (not to say that all fires start in garages) - better to protect one place.
And I think I told you already -that we have a new waterproof, fireproof safe. The waterproof is a big deal. All of our other papers and documents were wet. We had to find a place to spread them out separately and dry them, so they would not stick together.
Our questions are coming. Why now? Even though it was inevitable - why couldn't it have started when Heather wasn't home? Do you wonder sometimes why things happen when they do? Barry is called the Modern Day Job - but I hope not -cause the one and only Job in the Bible lost his children, too. Within the last five years, Barry lost his first wife to cancer (brain tumor) in May of 2004; his mom to cancer (lung) in Jan. 2008; his father in law (my dad) to cancer (pancreatic) in June 2008; and now his house - to a fire (April 2009). But he's the ever ready bunny and keeps going. His faith is strong. He knows that God will continue to take care of him - no matter what happens.
I knew his wife, Malinda. We were friends at church. I watched Barry take care of her - even at the hardest times- with the cancer or when she had hip surgery - and during her last days. I admired that in him. His compassion, his strength, his love. We all know where it came from - our heavenly Father - who watches over us day in and day out.
I was telling Amy and my mom recently - but it's sort of ironic - but just a week or so before the fire I was wondering if something terrible happened to me - how would I react to it? Would I still be able to show Christ to others, despite any pain or suffering? Well - here I am - telling you the truth. God is awesome. He picks us up and carries us - all the way through the pain and suffering. I know I couldn't do it without Him and I'm sure Barry would say the same.
So back to the Why now? Not sure - suppose I'll find out someday. But for now - I can't do anything about it - nor could I have prevented it from happening. It did. Now is the time to move on. Soon we'll be taking pictures of people hauling our stuff out of the house - off the grass - out of the garage and even out of our friends' garage (where some stuff is located that needs to be thrown out). It's a long process (Barry's favorite word). But God is supplying the patience for us - cause we are asking for it everyday. We are also asking for strength. It's not that we doubt the Lord is there to take care of us - it's that we need to ask God everyday for things. He wants to hear from us. He wants us to acknowledge our need for Him in our lives. And, it makes us feel better when we do talk to Him on a daily basis.
We have to stay strong - for the others that look up to us. Maybe even people that might go through the same thing in the years to come. We don't know. Only God knows. He is in control. We love Him so much. He is our Lord and Savior.
We hope that others will see Christ in us and will want that for themselves. It's surely not an easy road to travel on - but it's definitely worth it. We have hope in our Lord. He will take care of us.
Romans 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (finish reading through verse 8)
God is using us for His glory. We should feel honored that our faith in Him is strong - our love is strong and our witness is strong. We should be asking God everyday to use us - to do His will.
Continue to pray for us - with us - and for your own walk in Christ.
Have a great week in the Lord.
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